Using my blog to try and make the world a better place. If I can help someone forget their troubles for a few minutes a day, it's all worth it.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's hard to say goodbye:

My roommate is my best friend. We've been friends for 25 years. We started a couple of businesses together, and have been inseparable since we met. He hasn't been feeling well for a while, so I took him to the hospital to see if they could figure out what was wrong. He was supposed to go in for a cat scan then leave, but it turned out that he had to stay over night. One night turned into four days. The doctors said that it looked like he may have lymphoma, so they operated and removed a lymph node to have it biopsied. He was nervous that he might have lymphoma and wasn't looking forward to the chemotherapy and radiation. His test results came back, and turns out he doesn't have lymphoma. He has melanoma. Apparently his upper body is filled with cancer and it has spread to his liver. It's progressing very quickly. Since melanoma is untreatable, all they can do is give him pain medication so he won't suffer too much. He asked how long he had to live, and the doctor said maybe 6 months. I've never lost a friend to cancer before, and I've never been alone. I really wasn't expecting this. I will miss him very much. I don't really know how to finish this post off, all I can say is, enjoy your friends while you have them.

16 comments:

Main Line Sportsman said...

How awful and tragic. Be strong for your friend and offer the comfort you can...Hang in there.

Jack said...

I have. Someone who is with you for a lifetime creates a niche that no one else can ever fill; but once the searing grief subsides, you can fill it with the wonderful memories of lives well-shared. Like the Sportsman says, be strong for your friend, and give him more wonderful memories to take with him to wherever it is we go after we depart from here.

And place this in your heart; it will help you later:
"Who mourns the cocoon when the butterfly has flown?"

~ Jack

Caffeinated Joe said...

So sorry for you and especially your friend. Sad and shocking barely covers it. Be there, even if it is to sit and say nothing. And when your friend is gone, remember the good times. The ones we lose do live on, of only in our hearts and our minds.

And we may not be close, "real" friends, but post here whenever you need to. Use us to help you.

David Oliver said...

I was just blog surfing and feel bad about posting, not being so much as an acquaintance, but you are going through something very similar to what I had to do a few years ago.

For many years my oldest brother was part father and part best friend. The void left has been filled with other things but the filling is inferior. Such is life and I still enjoy mine but sometimes I think - we and they should not have to face things as difficult as this.

Retro Hound said...

Breaks my heart. I've lost a friend to cancer. I'll be praying for you and your roommate.

ChiTown Girl said...

Oh, Joe....

My heart is breaking for you. I'm so very sorry. I wish I had some magic words to help you, but I don't. Just enjoy every minute you have left with your friend. I will keep him, and you, in my prayers.

xoxox

joe said...

Thanks all ;^)

Michaelof71 said...

Joe,

Sorry to hear this news. My heart goes out to you and your friend. I'll be thinking of you both during this time.

Mike

joe said...

Thanks Mike

Anonymous said...

So sorry for you and your friend, Joe. Seems like you had a blog entry only a couple of weeks ago about how hard it is to lose a close friend.

I know how it feels because I've been where you are now twice. All I can say is be there for your friend as much as you can. He'll appreciate it, and it'll give you comfort after he's gone to know you had some quality time together towards the end of his life.

I lost my best friend of 20 years nearly ten years ago. We were very close. Those last two years we spent hanging out together, talking about things, our years in high school, were a great comfort to him.

Again, I'm terribly sorry you and your friend are having to go thru this, but unfortunately we 70's Children are now reaching middle age and sadly this is a part of life.

You will both be in my thoughts.

H

Anonymous said...

I wish I could hug both of you.
The dead don't mind at all, it's the living that suffer.

joe said...

Thanks guys, I appreciate it

lazlo1988 said...

Joe,

Man, I'm so sorry I missed this post, and am so late responding to it. I don't think there is anything I can say to make the pain go away. I can only say that I'm so sorry you are going through this, and to hold on, that at some point the pain will dissipate.

I have had losses in my own life, and life itself can be trying. I keep the faith that there is something beyond this existence, something that will make our brief time here have some meaning. All the best to you, Joe, and to your friend.

joe said...

Thanks Lazlo. He has his good days and his bad days.

Val said...

I'm so very sorry, Joe. My own best friend died years ago. Your heart will break, but you will be okay again. I wish as many good days as possible for both you and your friend.

joe said...

;^)