Using my blog to try and make the world a better place. If I can help someone forget their troubles for a few minutes a day, it's all worth it.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
I remember an episode of Little House On The Prairie...

So did any of you have...

Saturday, August 27, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Personally, I wouldn't want to live there..

Thursday, August 25, 2011
"The Emperor Of Ice Cream" by Wallace Stevens
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Robin digs my blog:
Monday, August 22, 2011
One pill makes you larger...

Saturday, August 20, 2011
"Live" from New York, it's Saturday night:

[Applause as we pan over to Roseanne Roseannadanna, a loud Latino woman who chews gum and has a lot of frizzy hair.]
Roseanne Roseannadanna: Thanks a lot, Jane! Thanks a lot! A Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, New Jersey writes in and says: "Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna, Last Thursday, I quit smokin'. Now, I'm depressed, I gained weight, my face broke out, I'm nauseous, I'm constipated, my feet swelled, my gums are bleedin', my sinuses are clogged, I got heartburn, I'm cranky and I have gas. ... What should I do?" ... Mr. Feder, you sound like a real attractive guy! ... You belong in New Jersey! ... [applause] But I know exactly what you're goin' through 'cause once, I, Roseanne Roseannadanna, quit smokin'. And to get back in shape, I had to join one of those fancy-shmancy health clubs. You know, the ones where it's real expensive to join but it's worth it, 'cause you get to see a lot o' people that you don't know naked! ... Like, some people got those bulgy-bulgy thighs, the ones that get chafed just 'cause they're always scrapin' against each other. ... And there's other people there that got these funny belly buttons. Like, some go in and some go out or it's like a hole or it curls around or it's like a little knob on it, like a door. ... Some of them got a little piece of their sweater still in it! ... Some of 'em look like a little star or a shell or a clam. Or some, you don't what they are! ... But, personally, I, Roseanne Roseannadanna, don't like to walk around with no clothes in front of other people! Not that I don't got a great body. ... But why should I waste it on a bunch of fat ladies in a health club? Anyway, they got this sauna there which is a little hot room where you go to sweat like a pig. ... So, I go in there but before I sit down, I put this clean towel on the bench 'cause there's a lot of people in there and you don't know where they been! ... So, listen to this. Who do you think is sitting next to me but Dr. Joyce Brothers! ... That very smart pixie lady who thinks she knows everything. But what this nude psychologist doesn't know is that she had this little teeny tiny ball o' sweat right here, hangin' off the tip of her nose! ... It was just hangin' there! It wouldn't fall off! ... Like, if she turned her head, it didn't fall off, if she stood up, it didn't fall off, she scratched, it didn't fall off, and when she picked a little piece of sweater out of her belly button, it didn't fall off! ... That little sweat ball just wouldn't fall off! ... So I yelled at her. I said, "Hey! Doctor! Flick that sweat ball off your nose! ... What are ya tryin' to do? Make me sick?!" She--
Jane Curtin: Roseanne!
Roseanne Roseannadanna: What? What?
Jane Curtin: [coolly] What do health clubs, sweat and saunas have to do with cigarettes?
Roseanne Roseannadanna: Well, Jane. It just goes to show ya! It's always somethin'! If it's not one thing, it's another! Either you smoke or you have a sweat ball hangin' off your nose!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Audrey Rose:

Thursday, August 18, 2011
Elvis, Elvis, let me be... keep that pelvis far from me:

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Come and knock on our door, we've been waiting for you...

Monday, August 15, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Fuzzy memory:

Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Sesame Street Seasons song:

Monday, August 08, 2011
Sunday, August 07, 2011
"It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's a frog!" "a FROG?!??"

Saturday, August 06, 2011
The Nature World Of Capt. Bob:

Friday, August 05, 2011
Um, okay....

Thursday, August 04, 2011
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